Being a Mother

You get no training, no time to prepare. I mean, how would you? Observe people around, generations before. Clearly it's obvious what you should or shouldn't do. You know your likes & dislikes of how people around act. Or have you not really grown? Are the thoughts that passes through really thoughts?  Sure I've damaged myself but seemingly jokes that are of constant occurrence by the people I spend most of my time around end up being harsh, harbouring hatred, there's such a thing as being too much & going too far. Your lack of tact in speech didn't help either. Quite clearly it made me distant myself. How could you be so blind & ignorant? Go heal your wounds while I recover too. I'm tired. Let me rest, then let me fly. This raging need to go far & see the world just can't be ignored.

You offer me no comfort. I don't remember a time where I feel I can approach you with a real emotional problem without the conversation ending with me feeling crappier than I did when I started talking. & yet you like to think of yourself as my... everything. If only you knew better.

Drawing a blank

These intense moments when it seems your heart could race no faster. Feeling like you're about to burst trying to express what was in your thought. As fast as it comes, it goes. Fleeting back and forth. When you're at your peak, heightened senses, heightened curiosity, heightened everything, restriction can be so cruel, draining the life out of you. Leaves you tired, mute, feeling like a waste. Wondering if that time could be gotten back. It's silly to wonder of such things. It only leaves us to do things at double speed now. Begin.

We Learn to Grow

I used to wonder why I should look at other people's designs so much. I mean, I was pretty sure I could think up of something without looking at what other people have done. I've come to realize going through other designs speeds a ton of things up & like reading fiction/non-fiction books, it opens up your mind. It's like window-shopping. You don't have to buy anything but it makes you aware of what's out there and what you like or don't.

I mean, let's go back to my 'Why man creates' project. One of the groups tried going around not talking to each other & acting like they didn't know anything/weren't taught anything. They acted like they were the first humans not knowing language. It's funny how most of us here would have to force ourselves to do that now.

Yeah, just look at language & it's development. It took a hell lot of time to be what it is now with all the alphabets or characters & this is all after people who were alive at whichever current time learnt what people before them knew, picked it up where those people prior to them left of & developed it further.

Thinking this way made me view flooding my brain with other people's designs in a positive light & I'm much more willing to do it now without being confused whether I should or should not be doing so.

Computers & English

There's something very satisfying about teaching someone things they're interested in learning about. Knowing that they'd benefit in many ways later on & it's for them to have a better life in the future =)

Not going to think of a title( to be casual, or not to be casual? gonna? going to?...)

I named this blog what I named it because- I'm not sure if this is a recent realization or not I am aware my mind always works this way but fixing a definition on it, I might have just recently done that.- our minds are flooded with thoughts that just won't stop flowing.

It's amazing how one thought can quickly jump to another & another & another really quickly.

We all buckle down our thoughts eventually... or rather, some of them at least.

Priorities are relative. As we all already know.

Do what the mind wants to do first so that it won't be so distracted by that 'thing'?
OR
Do what time- or the lack of- chooses for you to do first?

Sometimes- or most of the time- the two come hand in hand. Like if you've got a huge project that pretty much paves out your life for you due soon and a crucial mind-boggling, time-consuming, complicated matter that needs attending because time has run out for not-bothering anymore.

It's a tug-of-war.

But as long as I pick out all the words to tell my brain 'Deal the crucial matter first & as fast as possible so that you can quickly go on & pave out your future.'

I guess not all of us are lucky enough to do things when we please & not let time rush us. Well, the majority of us aren't anyway. Then again, that's pretty much what this 'majority' wants anyway.

-Off to the pen & paper.