Being a Mother

You get no training, no time to prepare. I mean, how would you? Observe people around, generations before. Clearly it's obvious what you should or shouldn't do. You know your likes & dislikes of how people around act. Or have you not really grown? Are the thoughts that passes through really thoughts?  Sure I've damaged myself but seemingly jokes that are of constant occurrence by the people I spend most of my time around end up being harsh, harbouring hatred, there's such a thing as being too much & going too far. Your lack of tact in speech didn't help either. Quite clearly it made me distant myself. How could you be so blind & ignorant? Go heal your wounds while I recover too. I'm tired. Let me rest, then let me fly. This raging need to go far & see the world just can't be ignored.

You offer me no comfort. I don't remember a time where I feel I can approach you with a real emotional problem without the conversation ending with me feeling crappier than I did when I started talking. & yet you like to think of yourself as my... everything. If only you knew better.

Drawing a blank

These intense moments when it seems your heart could race no faster. Feeling like you're about to burst trying to express what was in your thought. As fast as it comes, it goes. Fleeting back and forth. When you're at your peak, heightened senses, heightened curiosity, heightened everything, restriction can be so cruel, draining the life out of you. Leaves you tired, mute, feeling like a waste. Wondering if that time could be gotten back. It's silly to wonder of such things. It only leaves us to do things at double speed now. Begin.